Do you ever feel like you’re with an unsupportive partner?
Ever feel as though you’re in a committed relationship or marriage, yet you still feel alone?
It can be hard to tell when someone you love is not giving you the support you need in a relationship.
You love your boyfriend or husband so much you may overlook the subtle signs of an unsupportive partner.
Every relationship involves two committed individuals. Each trying equally and supporting one another.
You deserve a partner who loves and supports you.
If your partner displays any of these signs of an unsupportive spouse, it may be time to reexamine your relationship.
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Signs Of An Unsupportive Partner
They are never there for you through tough times
Every person goes through daily struggles and tough times throughout life.
Whether it’s struggling at work, with kids, or emotional struggles, you need a partner who’s there for you 100% of the time!
If you need a shoulder to cry on, they’re there!
An unsupportive partner will avoid uncomfortable situations when you need them the most.
They may not answer your texts or phone calls when you’re trying to urgently get ahold of them to discuss something that’s frustrating you.
Worst yet, an unsupportive partner may avoid you for long periods.
Yes, even unsupportive husbands will avoid talking about difficult situations by changing the subject and finding something else to do as a distraction.
Anything to avoid a tough situation.
While it may make him feel uncomfortable to talk about issues going on in your life, it’s part of being a human being.
Everyone has invisible struggles.
But the best part about being in a committed relationship is the security of knowing someone is always there to talk to.
When you’re missing that, it is a red flag that something is wrong in your relationship.
They dismiss your feelings
Your feelings are important! Women are not just “overly emotional.”
Our feelings, words, and thoughts matter and it hurts when someone dismisses them.
Especially if it’s someone you love.
Dismissing one’s feelings is also known as emotional invalidation.
An unsupportive partner will try to find a way to “fix” the way you feel by cheering you up or dismissing your feelings as “temporary” or “not that bad.”
Many boyfriends are husbands do this because it makes them feel uncomfortable talking about emotions.
Talking about emotions cannot be avoided forever. If your spouse keeps trying to cheer you up or fix how you feel it may not be done with the best of intentions.
Instead, the motivation behind it is a selfish act because your partner is uncomfortable with the situation.
They don’t encourage you
Encouragement and support go hand-in-hand. You can’t have one without the other.
If you find yourself never feeling encouraged in regards to your dreams and ambitions.
A supportive spouse will listen to your ideas and dreams with an open mind, give you honest feedback, and encourage you to pursue your passion or what you think is right.
Your ideas and dreams are never considered stupid.
Giving someone encouragement does not mean giving them your brutally honest opinion filled with insults!
Related Articles: 14 Warning Signs You’re In A Toxic Relationship
12 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship That Will Last
6 Steps To Start Healing After Emotional Abuse
They talk over you
Do you have a bestie where you can finish each other’s sentences?
While this may seem like constant interrupting in a conversation to others, this is a healthy form of communication between two friends talking about the same thing.
Talking over someone is different!
A boyfriend or husband who talks over you will simply…
-Interrupt you constantly with their own opinion
-Talk over you to change the subject of the conversation
-Tell you to stop talking or shut up (this crosses the line into emotional abuse)
When someone talks over you in conversations, it makes you feel less important.
Your ideas and spoken thoughts fall on deaf ears and you feel less significant in your relationship.
They lack communication
This is different than talking over someone. Lacking communication is all about knowing what’s happening in your partner’s life.
Someone who doesn’t text or call to let you know what’s going on in their lives lacks communication.
While you may dismiss this as your boyfriend is an “introvert” or “private person,” it can become hurtful after the lack of communication crosses the line of not…
-Calling after he said he would
-Cancelling plans and not informing you
Once this occurs another issue arises in your relationship… A lack of respect.
Someone who doesn’t communicate well with their partners is showing a lack of respect for their time and emotions.
They don’t help with household chores or kids
This is a big one! If you share a living space with your boyfriend or husband and they are not helping with daily chores around the house or helping to take care of the children, it comes across as very unsupportive.
That’s because you are doing all the work around the house and with the children.
It doesn’t matter if you are a stay-at-home mom or not, your partner is an adult and shares the same living space as you do.
If you’re doing everything all the time and taking on all of the responsibility at home, it sends the signal that your spouse doesn’t care or doesn’t want to help with anything…
Which makes you feel unsupported!
They are not excited about your successes
Your partner should be one of the first people you turn to with any good news.
Every major success is celebrated with the one you love the most because you want them to feel proud of you and excited for your success.
It hurts tremendously when unsupportive partner…
-Doesn’t seem happy about your good news
-Changes the subject to their own accomplishments
-Offers criticism about your success instead of joy
They feel distant
Ever felt simply alone in your relationship? Like you are speaking to your partner, but yet they are not listening?
Or worse, they’re always on their phone even during date nights together instead of paying attention to you!
Feeling alone or distant in a relationship can make you feel like something is wrong with you.
However, if you show more attention to your partner he may not get the hint or you can feel like you’re doing something wrong in the relationship.
While married couples can drift apart at times (especially with having children), it’s important to not have a feeling of loneliness continue.
If it does, the distance will be an actual consequence instead of a metaphor.
Now the question is…
How Do You Get More Support?
We all know by now men are very different from women. I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally too.
What may seem like a big deal to a woman in a relationship, may not be a concern for a man.
Because of this difference, it may simply be that your boyfriend or spouse is unaware that they are being an unsupportive spouse by not communicating or being distant.
You love your boyfriend or husband and want to mend the relationship.
Although you don’t want to change who your partner is, you do want to have a more supportive spouse…
At least someone who will meet you halfway! To do that, try some of the following tips to gain more support from your spouse!
Have a conversation
Not just any conversation. A heartfelt conversation laying all your feelings out there to your partner.
Let him know how you’re feeling unsupportive.
While you don’t want to offend your partner in any way, your feelings also matter!
By having a meaningful conversation about wanting more support in your relationship, you may open your partner’s eyes to how unsupportive they’ve been to you.
This may be the quick-fix solution you need!
If you don’t want to go straight for a heartfelt honest conversation, try engaging in conversation with your partner more by asking open-ended questions.
Give your partner your undivided attention and show him you’re actively listening and care what he has to say.
Increase your own support
Showing more emotional support toward your spouse may be just what your boyfriend or husband needs to see that more support needs to be given in the relationship.
Try listening more. Encouraging his thoughts and ambitions by asking “what if” questions instead of offering unwanted advice.
Show joy and pride toward your spouse when they have a success.
Show more love
This doesn’t have to be sexual. A hug. A kiss before going to work. Cuddling together after the kids are asleep.
Giving a small gift you know he will love. Anything to show your spouse how much you love and appreciate him.
Relationships are not easy. They take time, respect, and of course support. But one person cannot be the only person to provide all the support in a relationship.
Everyone deserves to feel love and supported.
If you’re finding your boyfriend or husband is being an unsupportive partner, there are easy ways to try and gain the emotional support you need and deserve!