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How To Keep A Positive Attitude While Trying To Conceive

How To Keep A Positive Attitude While Trying To Conceive


Trying to conceive a baby is hard work.  After a while timed sex seems to feel like a chore and not the excited adventure it started out to be.

Throughout your fertility journey it can be hard to keep a positive attitude. 

Between timed sex, BBT charting, ovulation tests (and for others fertility treatment) it’s easy to get discouraged after a few failed cycles.

Once you’ve had a few unsuccessful cycles, you may start thinking you’re “failing” at trying to have a baby.

Well you’re NOT failing!  You just need to change your perspective.

I know trying to conceive takes a toll on your mental health, but you need to make changes to your life to see things in a positive light. 

Here are 10 ways to stay positive while trying to conceive.

Disclosure: Bear in mind that some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you click on them to make a purchase I will earn a commission.  Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases.  The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

1. Think Happy Thoughts

Negative self-talk creeps into your mind with any difficult situation. 

But when it comes to trying to conceive, these negative thoughts can run rampant in your mind.

While negative thinking may not seem like a big deal, it can have a negative impact on your life.

Let’s look at how negative thinking impacts your physical and mental wellbeing

  • Negative thinking leads to feelings of anger, irritability, anxiety and depression (just to name a few).  These feelings can lead to decreased self-care and even eating disorders.
  • Negative thoughts = attracting negative emotions and events.
  • Your negative thought patterns affect other people around you! (Negative thinking is contagious).
  • It is a waste of time to constantly be in a negative state of mind.

So how do you reduce your negative thinking about trying to conceive?

A simple trick to help or reduce negative thinking patterns is by identifying and redirecting.  First, identify you negative thought patterns.

For example: “I’m never going to be a mother,” “I’m never going to get pregnant,” “I’m just going to have another failed cycle”

Any of these negative thoughts sound familiar?  These example thoughts are negative thoughts I’ve had while trying to get pregnant.  I think everyone at some point has thoughts like these…

But how do you change them?

You redirect your thinking!  Each time a negative thought pops in your mind, make the habit of redirecting it to a positive thought.

Negative thought: “I’m never going to be a mother.”

Positive thought: “I will be a mother!”

Do you see the difference?  You are now calling out positivity and building confidence in your fertility journey just by changing your thinking!

2. Eye On The Prize

What is your goal while trying to conceive?  To get pregnant!  Duh, Liz!

Yes, I know you’re trying to get pregnant.  That’s what trying to conceive is all about.  But, that’s not your end result is it? 

That’s not the grand prize at the end of your fertility journey!

The end prize is to have a baby in your arms!

When you focus on just getting pregnant, you are only focusing on the here and now.  Which is a good thing!

However, each month you’re not completing your goal of getting pregnant, you end up disappointed. 

In order to keep a positive mind-set while trying to conceive you need to shift your focus on the grand prize…

You’re not just taking this fertility journey to get pregnant.  You’re trying to conceive to give birth and have a newborn in your arms.

To lift your spirits and keep a positive attitude, focus on not only getting pregnant, but having a baby in your arms.

Related Articles From Fertility: 6 Tips To Survive The Two-Week Wait

3. Recite Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are another way to transform the way you think about your baby making journey.

If you’re unfamiliar with what positive affirmations are… They’re a positive written statement to increase positive thinking and help with your self-improvement.

As stated above, negative thinking can harm your mental and physical wellbeing.  To help overcome negative thinking, you can employ the use of positive affirmations in your life.

But, make sure these positive affirmations deal with trying to conceive.

You have two options for positive affirmations:

  1. Take time to write down positive affirmations that apply to you.
  2. Do a quick Google search to find positive affirmations that apply to you.

Either one is acceptable! 

Here’s a few examples of positive affirmations related to trying to conceive:

“I release all emotional blocks preventing me from having a baby.”

“I trust my body will conceive the perfect embryo at the perfect time.”

“I don’t need to worry about things I cannot control.”

The best way to use positive affirmations is to place them around the house in places you go multiple times a day.  For instance: a bathroom mirror; a cabinet by the sink; the fridge; your desk.

4. Visualization

Don’t you just wish there was a window into your reproductive system so you could see everything that goes into trying to conceive? 

It would be better than waiting for two-weeks hoping and praying that little egg sticks!

While you can’t see what’s happening inside your body, you can settle for the next best thing… Visualization.

Start visualizing…

An egg releasing from your ovary and entering your fallopian tube.

The same egg waiting to be fertilized.

Sperm entering your cervix and swimming through the uterus and fallopian tube.

Those same sperm reaching your egg and fertilizing it.

The egg dividing and growing.

Finally, the egg entering your uterus and burrowing into your uterine wall.

If visualizing doesn’t work for you, you can always watch a conception to birth video daily or weekly when trying to conceive. 

I watched this YouTube video almost daily to help me visualize the conception process going on in my body.

Visualization is an amazing mental tool to give you the following benefits:

  • Boost confidence
  • Prepares your mind for a baby
  • Increases motivation
  • Helps you believe that having a baby is possible
  • Let’s you visualize what you want most
  • Boosts positive thinking
  • Reduces stress

5. Reach Out

If you’ve been trying to conceive for a while, you’ve probably realized that trying for a baby is a lonely journey. 

Everywhere you look, you see a pregnant woman, birth announcements, newborn babies…

Plus, other women telling you they “don’t even have to try to get pregnant, it just happens.” *Eye rolls*

Between all these things, your fertility journey can be lonely.  But it doesn’t have to be!

Reach out and connect with others who are also trying to conceive, whether naturally or with fertility treatment. 

The best way to find your trying to conceive tribe is by reaching out to online forums.

There are tons of online forums full of women who are also trying to conceive. 

You never know your TTC buddy could be just a forum away!

Women in trying to conceive forums (for the most part) are very supportive of each other.  It’s always nice to know others are going through the same struggles. 

Plus, you can always find amazing TTC success stories from women who have been in your exact situation.

You may even find a TTC buddy who’s ovulating at the same time, so you guys can help each other through the two-week wait.

6. Keep A Happiness Box

A happiness box is a small box that’s filled with items that bring you joy.

While trying to conceive, you need to hold onto any happiness you can find to get you through bad times.

So pick a small box and fill it with things that put a smile on your face.  Pictures, chocolate kisses, your favorite essential oil… Whatever brings you joy!

I have my own happiness box.  But instead of filling it with items like pictures, I fill it with handwritten prayers.  I write down my worries and prayers, place it in my box and (symbolically) hand it over to God. 

Doing this helps bring me joy and eases my mind of worries.

7. Talk To You Spouse

It does take two to make a baby!  Your spouse is going through the exact same thing you’re going through with trying to conceive.  You are both in this together!

Don’t shut your spouse out!

Although you hate to bombard your spouse with your endless worries, it’s important to not keep feelings bottled up. 

When you keep your anxiety, frustration and depression to yourself, there’s only one way for things to go…

You eventually explode.  I have a habit of doing this!

I’ll be the first to admit that when things get stressful when we’re trying to conceive, I shut down emotionally.  I cover up my real emotions with fake smiles and laughs for my husband. 

When he asks what’s wrong I simply respond, “Nothing.”

Many times I’ve kept my worries about trying to conceive from my husband and eventually I just explode!

I remember many times horribly crying when I got my period after receiving an IUI with fertility medications.

This mental breakdown always occurred because I tried to cover and hide my feelings from my husband.  Of course, he was my prince in shining armor. 

He’d let me cry all over his shoulder and offer words of encouragement I needed to hear.  Best of all, he had the same worries I did.

Life lesson: Talk with your spouse.

8. Cut Out The Negativity

We all know people who just seem to have an aura of negativity.  Their negativity can affect your positive outlook about trying to conceive.

Avoid the negativity.

Negativity from others comes in all forms.  Even unsolicited advice about trying to conceive.

Negative comments or advice about you trying to have a baby is not something you need right now.  Try and avoid people and situations that bring you any negativity.

No.  You don’t need advice from your coworker who’s pregnant with her fifth child and who says she never had to try with any of her children.

To eliminate a situation like this, learn to set healthy boundaries with people. 

Say “no thank you” to advice about trying to conceive.  It’s perfectly alright to say “no” to someone in order to protect your new positive attitude.

Related Articles: The Best Fertility Supplements For Couples To Take Together

9. Reconnect With Your Spouse

Your spouse and you are a team in this baby making journey!

Instead of viewing timed sex and ovulation as a chore, change your prospective.  Make timed sex adventurous, fun, romantic… Whatever you’re into!

Use timed sex as an excuse to become closer and/or reconnect with your spouse. 

I know trying to conceive a baby is stressful, but relieve some of that stress by having sex on your non-fertile days.

That way when ovulation comes around, it will feel like less of a chore!

To reconnect with your spouse, go on a date. 

Pick somewhere or something that you both love doing.  Make it a goal to still date each other, even if you’ve been married for a while. 

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can forget about dating your spouse.

By dating your spouse you can reconnect with each other and temporarily forget about the stress of trying to conceive.

10. Take Time For Yourself

I cannot emphasize enough about how self-care is important while trying to conceive.  Self-care is more than just taking your prenatal vitamins.

Self-care is all about relieving stress from your body and mind.  Take personal time for yourself to nourish your mind and body. 

Even just 10 minutes of self-care a day makes a huge difference!

Try taking 10 minutes a day to:

  • Take a bubble bath
  • Read a book
  • Stretch
  • Watch your favorite TV show
  • Journal
  • Meditate
  • Exercise

Anything you love to do that will help you destress!

Final Thoughts

It’s easy to become frustrated or disappointed with each cycle when trying to conceive. 

It’s a common misconception that getting pregnant is doesn’t require any work.

But, you know that’s not true!  Trying to have a baby is hard work. 

It requires a lot of time and patience.  However, like the fair Godmother says in Cinderella, “Even miracles take a little time.”

While you’re in a trenches of trying to conceive, you need to find positivity to help you through it. 

Only by maintaining a positive attitude can you invite a positive outcome.

To keep a positive attitude while trying to conceive…

  • Think happy thoughts
  • Focus on the end result
  • Use positive affirmations
  • Try visualization
  • Reach out to people who are going through the same thing
  • Keep a happiness box
  • Communicate with your partner often
  • Get rid of negativity in your life
  • Don’t forget to date and reconnect with your spouse
  • Take time for yourself

Sending extra baby dust your way!!!


Works Cited

5 benefits we can reap from the power of visualization immediately

The effects of negative thinking

How to stay positive when TTC




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